I have a wonderful life. Really. I am married to my Best Friend. He loves me despite my flaws and understands me in a way that no one else in the world ever has. Not only does he understand me, but he accepts me completely. I have 3 beautiful healthy children, though I will not lie, they are not angels, lol. We bought our first real house this summer. Nothing extravagant, but solid and cozy..... and cheap. Did I mention cheap? I still have some career stuff to figure out, for example; Do I even want one? But really, all in all, I can't complain. Life is Great!
There is this one thing that I can't stop thinking about. This one thing that my mind cannot stop obsessing over. It can ruin my entire day in the blink of an eye. It interferes with so much of my day to day living in ways that you couldn't imagine.
It's me. It's my body. My weight. My fatness.
When I was a teenager I was so thin. I still was paranoid about my body but I was confident enough to show it off some days. When I met my husband I was a little heavier, but not much. Since meeting my husband 9 years ago, I have gained 115 lbs.
I can't put my shoes on without great effort. I can't chase my children. I can't have sex with my husband without focusing almost 100% on the negatives of my body.
This is what I need to change.
This is what I need to focus all my energy on.
This will be my journey.
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