Me

I have been putting some thought into this.  I have tried diets and what not many, many, many times.  The longest I have ever stuck with one is 6 weeks. At that time I lost 20 lbs, but of course have gained it back.  Now I can't stick to a diet for more than a week, if I even make if that long. I have come to realize that I believe the reason for this is due to two factors.  First, I am an immediate gratification kind of person. I have not learned to prolong or delay things. When I want something, I want it NOW, or maybe 5minutes from now.  I have gained so much weight that I could lose 20 lbs and I would not be able to feel a difference in the way my clothes fit. I would not see a difference in the mirror. And you can sure as heck bet that no one is going to say, "wow, have you lost weight?".  Those are the kinds of things I need to remind me that what I am doing is making a difference.  Instead I will have to stick this diet out for at least 3 months before I am rewarded by these things.  That makes it very hard.  Second, no one (at least no one I care about) cares about my weight but me.  My husband has an insane libido. I could be 400 lbs and I think he would still want me.  (Really this is a good thing or I would be adding Marriage troubles to my list of troubles).  So when I screw up, I feel like I am only letting myself down. I don't have any one else to be responsible to.

I have realized that I need to change my mindset in many ways. One thing I need to remind myself that this is not a diet. It is a lifestyle change. It is not as if I am going to lose all the weight and be able to go back to being a lazy junk food eater.  I know that is how I got this way.  Maybe, if I can truly see eating right and being more active as a part of a change in lifestyle and less as a chore that has a beginning and an end, it will help relieve some of that instant gratification issues.

I know in my heart that I gained this weight because I ate more than I burned. I also know from previous experience that when I burn more than I eat, I lose weight successfully.  Now..........  I just need to do it. AND KEEP DOING IT!